The Adventures of Sadie and Sue. Episode 149. Truth.

Sadie and I have been contemplating some deep subjects lately. She...mostly laying on her pillow...me mostly pecking on the computer gazing at the full moon rising.

But my friends, what are the layers and depth of truth? The raw, unfiltered willingness to be completely vulnerable, immune to the thoughts, comments and opinions of others. To be that truth that resides deep in your soul.

Upsetting the norm is seldom easy. Thinking outside the box can land you on a desert island...wondering both how you got there, and feeling immense gratitude that you did.

Knowing others you love have a different path...perhaps lest fraught with the sinkholes and the angst you might have experienced. But appearances can be tricky. There’s much more below the surface. What I might perceive as easy, for someone else, could be riddled with emotions and feelings that have a depth and breadth that needs to be honored and acknowledged. And if they have the courage to express that, I have to get out of my own way and be there for them.

It’s much more difficult to show our vulnerability, our truth, than our outward appearance. I know. I’ve lived that many times.

Maybe it’s more of creating an openness. Allowing those you are blessed to invite into your life...their space to be. Send love, send wisdom, and send understanding. But allow and trust their path is perfect. Be the one to set down the next paver, if they allow, and then get out of the way. Help pull out the weeds, if they allow. Then get out of the way. Trust.

Maybe, instead of thinking about it, we can just be the “courage” to takes to embark on a path that invites edge, that welcomes conflict, that embraces what might seem impossible. Maybe that path turns out to be the most amazing path one could have ever dreamed of. What if that?

I don’t know, friends. Everyone has a journey. I’m so grateful for mine. Ups and downs. Shaking out all that stale stuff, liberating the space to add something new. Feeling pushed to the edge of possibility, and feeling fear in my throat before I jump. And making a choice to jump anyway. What’s the worst that could happen? The net has always appeared.                                                                Maybe this ‘tis the season.I appreciate the résumé of my  life. Every darn bit of it. It had purpose. It’s brought me to where I am, and that’s a pretty cool spot. If any might judge- go for it. That's your call.

Love you all. Sadie and I wish you the best holiday season and a year ahead chock-filled with blessings that overflow your heart and soul. Truth.                                                                                 

The Adventures of Sue and Sadie: Episode 148: Happy Thanksgiving!

It’s a wondrous time of year. Winter is approaching.  There is a stark honesty in this cycle of seasons. Reflection is necessary.

The trees are barren. The canopy of of leaves that once were, have disappeared.

The winds of change shake loose all that is no longer needed, as any mature and sturdy tree will tell you, stately in its naked vulnerability. “Let go of the past” the tree whispers...”There is so much yet to come.”

Darkness settles in early.  It nudges me to turn inward.

We each have an opportunity to connect to the magic that is happening deep within the core, the re-growth, the evolving metamorphosis simmering. We have the opportunity to trust.

We also have the opportunity to ignore it all, and fall into a pattern of wanting it to be different, to cling to what we think we want....usually to an aspect of our past. It’s our choice.

But, this is a time of renewal! Of appreciation. Of tender consideration for our blessings- sowing the seeds of possibility that will emerge and spring forth in future months as the frost melts and the sun blazes longer each day.

What a gift this life is.

Sadie and I sit by the fire on the eve of a Great Winter Storm. We are grateful. We are warm and fed.  We don’t have to travel. We can hunker down. The fireplace and Christmas tree lights provide reassurance. We are loved by so many family and friends. We have cherished new friends, who have offered their presence in ways that can only be met by immense gratitude.

This inner glow of thanksgiving grows stronger. It connects and surrounds each of you.

Winter holds the space of what can be. I am excited to see what emerges.  I know I am in charge of my creation.  I work on it with a joyful heart every day. You are in charge of yours. What will it be?! 

Dream big. Dream often.

I am thankful for this wonderful life. For each of you.

Sadie rests on her bed...allowing what is to be. She’ll be grateful for one more night time walk. She’ll be grateful for her bedtime treat. Yet... she doesn’t expect it. She’s pretty much in the present moment all of the time.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Be well. Be happy,

Until next time,

Sadie and Sue

A Single Woman and Her Dog: The Adventures of Sue & Sadie- Episode 147

It was a pretty chill weekend, no grand adventures on my part except for trying to whittle down an ever expanding ‘to do’ list and resisting the backache it gave me every time I tried to lift it up.

However, in Sadie’s eyes, it was a very good weekend, because it included a trip to the dog park. Doggie nirvana. Smells galore, dogs to run with and so, so many balls to chase.

It occurred to me as I watched her happily settle down to rest after chasing 65 and a half balls, that the joyful look on her face, that doggie smile, was probably exactly the same way she was feeling on the inside.  Kind of a ‘what you see is what you get’ situation.

And that made me think about the faces I show. How often does it truly reflect what I am feeling inside? I’m aware there is sometimes a gap. Sometimes I am spot on, and that feels great. And then there are the times I appear confident, calm and collected, and feel sad or scared or a hot mess on the inside.

Just how big is that gap?

I see this in others too.

I’ve seen my grandkids minimize a consequence when with careful inquiry, it actually made a deeper impact on them than they showed.

I’ve seen this with many friends, co-workers and neighbors.

Recently a dear friend trusted me enough to be vulnerable and share how something I did made him feel. It caught me by surprise because I had no idea it impacted him that way. I interpreted his response to a conversation we had at face value, no big deal... when in fact, it was a pretty big deal.

I’m so glad we were able to talk about it. It takes courage to share how we really feel.

We don’t often know the struggles someone has or the deep wounds they carry. Those signs might be invisible or easily glossed over.

We accept what we see because maybe we are really busy conforming and contorting our own face we choose to show. We miss stuff that way. Big stuff.

Veneers don’t often serve us, do they?

It opened my eyes  more to thinking about who I really am and considering just how big that gap is on the inside... that reflects to the outside.

 It’s an inner challenge to shrink it. To be more in touch with the authentic me, the mostly happy, go lucky woman who has ups and downs just like everyone else.  When I present that authentic self...well, magic happens.

I want to live my life from that place more often.

I bet I’m not alone.

What would it be like if we could connect on that level, heart to heart? Knowing on this adventure called life, we have all sustained bumps and bruises. Appreciating how priceless it is when you have special people in your life that can walk with you through them, good, bad or indifferent. No judging. Just accepting.

Sadie has no pretenses. I pretty much know all the time how she is doing. And with a heart to heart connection. No words are needed. She’s just being who she is. Looking for treats, chasing balls and curled up next to me on a chilly fall night. Looking at me with concern if she senses something is not quite right. Offering her presence and just being love and truth.

I want to be more like her.

Closing with a quote from my favorite sweatshirt...Live a great story, friends. Until next time.

S & S

A Single Woman and Her Dog: The Adventures of Sue & Sadie- Episode 146.

So, this is actually our first official team adventure. The other 145 sprinkled throughout the year are best left for private introspection, and adventure might not be the best descriptor for a boat load of change. And I really like the numbers 146. I’ll explain that another time.

Today, Sadie and I were in search of aspen trees showing off their pretty yellow and red colors. It’s a narrow window, but a guaranteed 5 star show.  In all truth, Sadie was in search of a ball to chase, as usual, but she’s a good sport and even better company. We stopped first for hot pumpkin coffee for me and a hot dog for her.  We headed west on Highway 285 to Staunton State Park. Kenosha Pass was the original destination, but having heard so many reports of long lines of cars and traffic, we came up with plan B.

Seeing the highway sign that said “Watch out for wildlife and falling rocks” made me very happy.  There was a time in my life where fear of driving this type of road would have prevented me from going. Now, I love the twists and turns and endless views! It feels good to not have that fear any longer.

Staunton State Park did not disappoint. There were small groves of beautiful aspens, some peak, some still approaching and a few past peak. Gorgeous. The crimson leaves twinkled in the soft breeze and danced in the reflection of the sunlight, coming alive only as aspens can. The trail was easy, albeit a bit crowded. However, it was great practice for us, and it certainly felt safe. The park volunteers were fun, and guided us to a nice trail. Sadie had plenty of opportunities to sniff and post her own strategically placed ‘What’s up pup’ messages. We enjoyed the fresh air, blue skies and a few hours connected to the great outdoors.  

A few rookie mistakes. I forgot my pack back and hiking boots! Easy to remedy this- they will be put in my winter bin in the Subaru for easy access.

Hopefully, we will have many adventures to share. As a single woman, I’ve decided to embrace and see all I can. It’s great to do this with family or friends, but everyone is busy and there’s no time like the present to create a great day. 

The boatload of change this year has inspired me to think outside the box and go for it. Realizing on the other side of sadness is joy.  On the other side of fear is courage. On the other side of regret is possibility. I’m spending much more time on the right side of that continuum, and that feels great.

And even in those moments when I do miss what was with a fierceness that produces a hot torrent of tears, I realize it’s not how far you fall, but the courage it takes to climb back up. To know that all we experience and all those we cherish, even those we may never see again, contributed to the tapestry of this grand life....each thread woven in cosmic perfection, forming a net that will always, always catch you, if you can surrender and trust.

We hope you’ll join us as we recount the fun we will have. I can’t promise every adventure will have Sadie included, as she will likely be the main star here, but I’m guessing most of them will.

Live a great story, friends. Until next time.

S & S

Becoming Super Natural...Let's Do This Together!

I want to share some pictures and thoughts about the Dr. Joe Dispenza event...’Becoming Supernatural’ that I was able to attend a few weeks ago in Portland.

It was seven days of a deep immersion into heavily researched quantum physics, into epigenetics... into 30 +hours of meditation...into brain and heart coherence...and recognizing each of us has the innate ability to create a life we want...which for many may look different than the life we might currently be experiencing. It was 12 to 14 hours a day of a deep immersion...and feeling like just moments. Time dissolved.

It was powerful beyond words.

It is simply the process of focusing on what you want...with such a clear intention and an elevated emotion...that can draw you to THAT. I truly believe that this is the future of our world.

I went in giving it my all. Sitting in line at 2 am with a happy heart...several days to capture a good spot for an early 4 am 4 hour meditation. 

Several other days walking in sunrise with 850 other beautiful souls as we created such amazing energy...we had Portland news coverage wondering who had invaded their city!

Meeting SO many beautiful beings from ALL over the world....everyone doing such great inner work with such sincere intention to create an even more magnificent world. I disconnected from my normal life in a way I don’t ever remember doing.

I Witnessed transformation and healing. There was an elderly lady from Colorado who came in a wheelchair... who donated it when she left. She didn’t need it anymore.  There was a women who healed herself over the past few years of Parkinson’s and a very serious spinal injury using Dr. Joe’s principals. 

So Many Testimonials. There were children there with health conditions that we were blessed to send healing energy to. And...This is just the beginning. There is much opportunity to dive even deeper....and I am so grateful to be a part of that vision. New friends.

I came back a different person. I am calmer, happy, and more joyful...so more that than naught. I’m excited for this new moment. I’m excited to keep evolving and growing. It’s quite humbling and precious. Miracles do happen when you least expect them. I had my own quantum experience at the airport, which was NOT expected...words can’t quite explain it! Yet, it happened!

I’m diving in deep, my friends. Hoping to not only heal the parts in me that invite a new energy...but add whatever I can to the healing for others and for this amazing world we live in. Sometimes it’s ok to not have all the answers, but trust that life is unfolding just as it is supposed to. Comments welcomed.

Once Again…The Veil Parts….

Death is a subject I have spent many hours thinking about. I mean, I have spent the last 20 some years as a hospice nurse…embracing and immersing myself into the sacred journey that accompanies those dying. I’ve been honored to sit at the bedside as a precious soul leaves this world for another.

As a society, we have imprinted a sadness to that word. I wonder how death and dying would be accepted in our society if we interpreted that word with true joy. Bountiful!

I have been honored to sense the spirit of those who have already gone.

I remember attending a memorial service for a patient I was quite close to. It was held in a beautiful big cathedral, and many of her friends and family were in attendance. I remember sitting there …honoring her memory, and softly realizing that her entire essence was filling up the space within the holy walls of the church. It was fleeting, but powerful, and I knew she was there.  And her soul- her energy, however that may have been defined, was joyful. Pure joy, in fact.  That is the best word I can come up with to describe it- but it was all encompassing…so much more than my meager vocabulary of words can define.

It was a sacred moment.

I remember a late night dream, or visit, after my father died. He had quite a distressing illness and his journey at the end of his physical life was fraught with sickness, sorrow and loss. I was much younger then and unable to formulate the right words of comfort. I was sad. Confused. He was dying before my eyes, and neither of us could do anything to fix it. I was many miles away from him. My heart hurt.

He died. Some weeks later I awoke to see him standing at the foot of my bed. He was healthy and young. In his navy uniform. He smiled and told me, “I just want you to know I am ok.” It was a powerful moment for me.

And so time passes. Years go by. My spiritual journey was ramping up. I remember as a young girl always wondering about the big questions as I grew up. I guess I have always been a bit of a deep thinker- knowing that there is more to life than what we see. I have been honored, I believe, to have glimpsed the veil behind this worldly world from time to time.

I remember a trip to the library many years ago. I must have been in my early 30’s. Searching. Exploring. I found a book that totally intrigued me. “Your Erroneous Zones” by Wayne Dyer. I read a few pages. My heart opened up, and I remember feeling- “YES!!! This makes sense. I need to read this!”

So I did. And so came forth into my world a powerful spiritual teacher. The years passed. Life offered many ups and a few downs. I came to truly appreciate the blessings in my life. There were so many. There were some tough times to navigate as well.

In the background- I found comfort and refuge in reading the teachings of many amazing teachers….Wayne Dyer among them.

I consider Wayne Dyer a wise person. Someone whose energy raised the vibration for so many.

I have probably read most of his books. There are some I keep close by my side, and  often read a page or two- as a reminder to live in the moment and consider the thoughts we have and how they mold and create our world. I have been honored to attend his workshops and live lectures. My sister Jane and I have met Wayne several times, giddy with fun as he took a moment to snap a picture with us. He sang with us one time. ”Sisters…..” Since my movie watching repertoire is a bit spotty- I had no idea what song we were singing and from what movie… but it was fun none the less.

He signed books for us.  My grandchildren have autographed copies of children’s books. I am grateful. May those words we read to them help them connect easily to their inner greatness.

To me, he was kind of a “larger than life” person. Because the words he wrote touched and connected with my soul.

Wayne Dyer died a few weeks ago. Of a heart attack. He was 75 years old. I felt quite sad. I have said prayers. Prayers of comfort for his closest family and friends. Prayers of comfort for those millions of individuals whom have been impacted by his words and teachings. I hope when those final moments came for him, that he felt safe, joyful and was completely surrounded and embraced by angels as he transitioned from this life to the next.  It’s only another leg of a journey.  He has crossed the horizon…out of sight for us…but coming into view for those others….who happily waited his arrival.

So- I offer sincere thanks. I have learned much from his teachings, and I expect I will continue to do so. I hope he is up in heaven having a blast. My mom enjoyed reading his books, so I hope she has a chance to visit with him, and let him know that. She and I watched several of his PBS specials.

 I hope he is up there sharing stories with Hafiz, Lao-tzu, Jesus and Buddha. Laughing. Celebrating.

Death is a journey we all will take. As the months and years tick by, I recognize that more and more.  There is still fear for me surrounding that. I don’t want to lose the physical presence of those I love so deeply- my family, my friends, my partner Jeffrey. They all inhabit and nourish my heart and soul.

I’m certainly not ready to go.

 But, I know it will happen someday. It may be me first- it may be one of my loved ones…those precious souls who light up my world with their physical presence.

There is much left to learn for me, many lessons of grace, acceptance and knowing.  Trust. 

 Un-Attachment to outcome. Keeping my thoughts, feelings and desired aligned with what I want. 

BEing.

Knowing and trusting when that day comes when I make my journey to the other side, that I will be ready. That those I leave behind will be ok. That any inner fear or trepidation suddenly dissolves, and I feel completely, totally happy and welcomed when the journey from this life to the next occurs. 

Like…

 “Oh my goodness…there was nothing for me to worry about after all!”

So- I wrap up a rather long blog- feeling much gratitude for a precious soul. Thank you, Wayne. I appreciate the impact your teachings have made on my life, and the lives of so many. May God surround you with Peace and Presence. Enjoy this new journey. It is well-deserved.   

The Greatest Honor

Hands down, the greatest honor I have ever experienced in this life, is the honor of being a mother. 

And, luckily for me, I have the immense blessing of being “Mom” to both my son David, and my daughter, Jessica.

It was a little awkward for me at times. I didn't always do it perfectly, and sometimes I felt pretty darn inept at doing all the things a Mom should do, in the way a Mom should do them.

Mrs. Cleaver? Mother Teresa?

Not so much.

There were days I was cranky. Not at my all-time best. Tired. Perhaps I did not always make the right decisions or provide the guidance in a way that I might now.  There was no “Mothering for Dummies” book around back then, no innate knowledge of what do in every situation. As a single Mom for much of that time, it often felt challenging.

But what there was, without a doubt, was Love. A Deep and Enduring Love- which washed over me throughout the pregnancies of both, but rolled in like a tidal wave when both were born.   It’s a feeling like no other, as I am sure many other Moms can attest to.

 And, the other realization I marveled at is that Love only Grows.

When my first born, David arrived, I knew my heart was expanding to the greatest reaches of the universe.  I had no idea how I could ever love to that degree again. Then, some years later, my daughter Jessica arrived. Love grew, the universe expanded to include galaxies….and I sat back and observed in awe…how wonderful the limitless arena of love is.

Those feelings are still there, and grow deeper each day.

I love, appreciate and honor both of my children.

David.  As a baby he was fun, adorable and inquisitive… very brave. So loving as a toddler. Asked great questions. Insightful questions I may not have been equipped to answer the way I might now. Grew up to be self-sufficient and focused. Kind. Loyal.  Smart- brilliant in fact. He is much smarter than I am. He fiercely protects his family… knowing what is important.  He is an amazing man- one who has found his creative niche…capturing the soul and emotions of animals and birds through photography. When I look at his photographs, I feel something. He brings a special gift to the world, 

and I know that many others will reap the benefit of what he offers through his art. 

I love him to the furthest reaches of the Universe. I am Grateful.

Jessica. My sweet daughter. She brought many smiles to my heart as a baby and a toddler, in fact, throughout her entire childhood to adulthood.  Grew up to be a remarkable woman. Insightful. Sensitive. Tender. Filled to the very brim with Love, and then some. So thoughtful and caring to me. Appreciated beyond expression.

Hands down, she wins the Mom of the Year award. She is an AMAZING mom, so present, so focused, so loving to dear sweet Kason. She is excavating even greater things right now…discovering her own inner artist, and I am blessed to await how her inner genius and artist will emerge…as she navigates the world of MotherHood while staying connected to herself. She is powerful.

I love her to the furthest reaches of the Universe. I am Grateful.

And, although they are not my kids, I honor and appreciate my daughter-in-law and my son-in law.

Heather- she is such a creative person….not one to toot her own horn, but so able and willing to just step right in when she needs to. Caring. Loving. With no medical training, she commanded the situation when her nephew was very sick and stopped breathing. She just did what needed to be done, and didn’t even mention it after. He survived, thanks to her quick actions. I am so blessed to know her, and I can’t wait to see what other great experiences unfold for her…knowing her inner essence and creativity shines so brightly. Be prepared… You just might need a set of shades when you are around her!

My son-in-law Matt. My buddy. My friend. We’ve had so many great conversations. I love this man. He not only has such great love and respect for my daughter, he is the BEST dad and has such an innate commitment to making a fantastic life for them all.  He is a great person.  He is willing to go to Salt Mines with me. To learn the Secrets of Meditation with me and Aunt Jane.  He is willing to have deep conversations. He is a great hiking partner, and has urged me up a tough 14er. He has been such a gift in my life….and I am incredibly grateful for his friendship, insight and acceptance.

OK...so I need to learn how to put on a hat. 

So- Thank you Sweet Mother Earth, God and Universe. The circle of life continues to swirl, expand and grow.  On this Sacred Mother’s Day fast approaching- Thank you for the honor of being David and Jessica’s Mom.

May I always bring my best self to each of my beloved.  May I always touch their heart and soul and be a loving presence in their life. Thank you, God!